


Show and Tell

by die_traumerei



Series: Bike Girls [5]
Category: Good Omens (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Autistic Aziraphale (Good Omens), Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/F, Female Aziraphale (Good Omens), Female Crowley (Good Omens), Humor, Ineffable Wives | Female Aziraphale/Female Crowley (Good Omens), Past Abuse, Past Relationship(s), Sex Toys, Soft Crowley (Good Omens)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-13
Updated: 2020-11-13
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:21:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27546760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/die_traumerei/pseuds/die_traumerei
Summary: Some celebration is in order, now that they're both healed and happy. Crowley and Aziraphale compare sex toy collections, cuddle a lot, and talk about some heavy stuff.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Series: Bike Girls [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1997386
Comments: 17
Kudos: 71





	Show and Tell

**Author's Note:**

> Whoof, this one was hard to write at times. It's mostly light and funny, except for a little bit, but MAN that little bit. Broad CW here, a more spoiler-y on in end notes.
> 
> cw: menstruation, discussion of past abuse, very brief discussion of sexual assault (in the abstract, not something that happened)

Aziraphale smiled; she couldn't _not_. It was a lovely autumn day, and she was having a very happy little ramble, and good things were happening. It seemed only right to list them, to carefully classify and savour them, as she walked.

Good thing the first – she was perfectly comfortable walking the mile or so from the bus stop to the hospital. There was a bus that dropped off right in front, of course, but she would have had to change buses and it would have taken an extra half hour. Much better to take the walk.

Good thing the second – the reason she was taking the walk in the first place was that she was due to finally get her cast off. It had been an easy, fast recuperation from breaking her wrist, but still. She was  _extremely_ excited for everything to be that much easier, to say nothing of going back to repairing books at work.

Good thing the third – this also meant she'd been with Crowley for six unbelievably happy weeks. Even the early days when she'd hurt and been scared and uncertain, she was so happy. She was still scared sometimes. And she wasn't really ready to believe that Crowley... _liked_ her. It seemed impossible at times, but it was real and true, and she even remembered that now and again.

Good thing the fourth – Crowley's knee was healing beautifully. It was still a little stiff, but she mostly used the walking stick because she  _loved_ it, rather than truly needing it. She had got her stitches out a few days ago, and was happy and healthy again.

Good thing the fifth – she was going to see Crowley later that afternoon and they were going to go through each others' sex toy collections. Crowley had promised to come over to Aziraphale's, which Aziraphale was a little grateful for, since she didn't fancy lugging her entire toy chest a few streets over. Her collection was...not unimpressive, she thought.

Of course, Crowley had wanted to drive her to the hospital and back, silly woman that she was, but Aziraphale had insisted she was more than well enough to take the bus and walk, and it turned out that one of Crowley's clients insisted on some incredibly long meeting that Crowley  _had_ to be there for for the entire run, no getting out of it at all, and her participation required. She had been furious, but finally agreed to let it go.

“It doesn't seem fair,” she'd said, while Aziraphale cuddled her. “I've been there every other step of the way. I want to see you really truly all better.” 

The sex toy plan was part of the balm to sweeten Crowley up. And of course Aziraphale would text her as soon as she left, take a photo of her silly arm, everything. Honestly, she was being ridiculous – it was a stupid little broken wrist! – but it was...endearing. Impossibly charming.

Aziraphale was smiling widely as she went up to the registration desk to sign in. Everything was just so  _lovely_ .

_I'm so sorry. Got bad news._

Crowley's stomach turned to ice.  _What_ bad news? How could there be bad news? Aziraphale had got her cast off, even sent Crowley a picture of her grubby arm. She had to wear a wrist brace for a bit, but it had been fine, the X-ray had looked great,  _what could be wrong_ ?

_R u ok? What happened? Do you need me?_

That fucking meeting. Three hours of bullshit and Crowley hadn't opened her mouth after the first half-hour. She could  _easily_ have left after her bit and squired Aziraphale around, enjoying her cute girlfriend's company.

_Oh shit yeah that looks bad, sorry. I'm fine. I'm sorry, Crowley, I wrote that really badly. I'm fine, just – got my period early._

“Oh...kay,” Crowley said to her laptop.

_As long as you're okay. But can you help me out here? Why is getting your period bad news?_

There was a certain relief in just cutting through the bullshit and asking each other to explain. Crowley liked Aziraphale autistic-ness plenty – her wiggles were so cute, and it was  _her_ , of course she liked that. But goodness, it did save one time, too.

_We can't have sex :(_

This was news to Crowley, but, well, some women didn't like it that way. Crowley might not mind so much, but maybe Aziraphale did? They spent a lot of time together but didn't have sex  _that_ much, so it hadn't come up.

_Do you feel poorly, sweetheart? I can run over with a heating pad and some motrin. And I'd love to have some cuddles and show each other our toy collections, if you're up for it._

Poor baby girl – it didn't seem fair, to get use of her arm back and be feeling bad.

_I feel fine, actually. But I thought you wouldn't want to? Gabrielle always said I was icky, and it was gross to do it when I was bleeding_ .

“I _really_ should have decked her when I had the chance,” Crowley informed the room. 

_Honey, no. I would love to make love with you. Or cuddle and talk if you don't want to be touched like that – I know some women don't. We can have a little snuggle and decide how we feel. But I'm perfectly happy to have sex when you're on your period. You're not icky at all, and I don't think it's gross. It can be really beautiful, and help you feel better. Gabrielle is a rude hag._

A long pause.

_Can you still come over later? I don't know how I feel. But I'd love to cuddle with you. And show off my collection :)_

Crowley smiled. She'd stop off in the village and buy flowers first. Roses. Aziraphale loved roses.  _I'd like that so much. OK if I head over in about two hours?_

_Perfect. Thank you. Don't work too hard! :*_

Crowley laughed out loud, and sent a little kiss emoji back, before going back and only working a  _little_ . She had to walk to the village proper first, after all.

Aziraphale thought she might just about stop blushing when Crowley got to her place. What an absolute idiot she was. Just dull as dirt. Of  _course_ Crowley wouldn't mind. And it wasn't like cuddling and kissing was second-best. Nothing about them was second-best. Together, every part of them was first-best.  
This determined to her satisfaction, Aziraphale got back to trying to tidy her bedroom for the first time in...well, considerably longer than six weeks. And it wasn't like Crowley hadn't basically lived at her place in those first few days, but still. A lady liked to have a made bed to lay out her impressive vibrator collection and all.

Crowley eked out a little more work, not  _terribly_ inclined towards anything after her wasted three hours of the morning. And anyway, she had to get ready. 

Her sex toy collection wasn't particularly much – honestly, she preferred her hand more than anything else – and was easily packed into a little satchel. She touched up her lipstick and made sure the wings of her eyeliner were sharp enough to cut a man's throat, before heading out. It was a bit of a walk to the village, and she still wasn't quite 100% after splitting her stupid knee open. On the plus side, a long walk meant she had a reason beyond 'it makes me look cool' to use the cane Aziraphale had found for her, with the carved snake twisting up it, its head making the handle.

The weather had turned grey of course, it being England in late autumn, but it was warm enough still that the walk into the village proper was a nice one. Crowley popped into the bakery for some muffins for tomorrow's breakfast, and then down the street to the tiny flower shop. Although she was certainly tempted to be stupidly extravagant – this was a day to celebrate Aziraphale! – she was learning that extravagance was...a little much sometimes, for her lady-love. She'd have to ramp up to a dozen red roses, and instead picked a pretty bouquet of wildflowers, all kinds of colours – though also asked the lady behind the counter if she could fit something exotic in, a rose or something.

“I'll do you one better, dear heart,” she promised, and plucked a bird-of-paradise from a cooler. It was an exotic alien amidst the sweetpeas and daisies, but the colours all blended together, and Crowley genuinely loved it. 

“Thank you,” she said. “Really. It's for someone really special – she deserves a celebration, but roses and orchids would just fluster her, you know?”

“My husband's the same,” the woman agreed. “Likes his beauties of the world. You and me, we want the stars on a chain, and have to learn how to see the pretty in wheat and weeds.”

“Oh, that's lovely,” Crowley said, blushing a little. “She'll really feel – cherished? With this?”

“With you giving it to her? Absolutely,” the lady promised. “It's the girl in the bookshop isn't it? With the arm?”

Crowley nodded. “Except her arm's all better. Well, near enough, she's out of plaster today.”

“Oh, that's good to hear. Look – give her this, to put in her hair,” the woman said, selecting a stem of tiny roses, all vibrant pink. “A little present, since she lost her other pink accessory.”

Crowley giggled, and thanked her profusely, and tried to pay for the rose as well as the bouquet, but was politely and firmly refused and walked out of the shop to boot.

“Grocery's doing a special on a lovely pinot noir,” the woman advised, and you didn't have to tell Crowley twice – besides, the Tesco was just a few shops away.

It was only after she'd added the bottle of wine to her satchel and was headed to Aziraphale's, cradling the roses in one arm, that it occurred to her that, quite possibly, Gabrielle was the  _only_ person to have met Aziraphale and not fallen in love with her. Well, there was no helping  _some_ people.

Crowley knocked on the door, already grinning when Aziraphale appeared to let her in. “Sweetheart! Let me see,” she begged, and Aziraphale laughed and presented her right forearm for inspection. She wore a short wrist brace with a light plastic splint built into it, but it was smaller even than her cast had been, and allowed far movement.

“Wonderful,” Crowley praised. “Honey, I'm so happy for you. Here, these are for you,” she added unnecessarily, handing Aziraphale the bouquet.

“Crowley! You didn't have to...oh, they're _beautiful_ ,” Aziraphale cooed, and touched a daisy. “So many of my favourites. You're too sweet to me.”

“No such thing,” Crowley said cheerfully. “The roses are for your hair, too. C'mon, up to yours, I need to hug you properly.”

Aziraphale giggled and turned, leading the way up the stairs, slow enough for Crowley to keep up easily until they'd reached her little nook tucked away in a far corner of the building. It was a tiny little flat, but pretty, and overlooked a wild garden and fields beyond. Crowley quite liked it on its own, and  _loved_ it for her noise-sensitive angel.

She got inside, settled her cane against the wall and the satchel beside it, and stalked straight over to the tiny kitchen to pull Aziraphale into a hug, the two of them lit by the soft light coming in through the window. “Honey,” she murmured, holding Aziraphale and savouring getting hugged with two soft arms. She rubbed Aziraphale's back and kissed her, and pulled her right back into a deep embrace.

“I'm sorry about earlier...” Aziraphale whispered. 

“Shhh. You don't have to be sorry,” Crowley whispered back. “Oh, Zira.” She might let go someday. Maybe. When she could be sure that Aziraphale was confident in how pretty and funny and special she was. _Maybe_.

They did finally break apart with smiles, and Crowley took Aziraphale's wrist in her hands, cradling it and smiling down. “Everything's really okay?'

“Everything is fine, love. No more broken than your wrist, the brace is just to help while I get strength back,” Aziraphale promised, and grinned. “I can start riding my bike again whenever I want.”

“Brilliant. I'll be good to go in a few more days,” Crowley promised, and bent over to kiss the inside of her wrist. “I got us some goodies, let me put them away and then we can do show and tell.”

Aziraphale grinned. “I'll make us a pot of tea?”

“Please.” Crowley kissed her cheek and went to set the wine out to have with dinner, and the muffins carefully in the fridge, and then helped carry teapot and mugs into Aziraphale's bedroom.

“I'm sorry, I don't have much to show off,” Crowley apologised once they were settled. “I like using my hand more than anything else.”

“Well, you're pretty bloody good with your hand, so I'm not much surprised,” Aziraphale said, and laughed when Crowley blushed. “Honey? I _don't_ much feel like sex. I don't have cramps, I just...” She sighed. “I'm sorry. I just don't want to?”

“All right,” Crowley said. “Of course that's all right, angel. That's _always_ all right.” She smiled and touched Aziraphale's cheek. “We can have fun looking at toys and flirting. I got my cuddles in, and got to see my girl all better. That's the best part of today already.”

Aziraphale's smile grew. “I know, I just...thank you.” She patted Crowley's thigh. “Onto the bed with you, miss, and a pillow under that knee if you need it. I'm not the only one recovering here.”

Crowley laughed and kicked off her trainers, doing as she was told, up to tucking a little pillow under her knee – it really did help, to keep that tiny bend there. Aziraphale handed her her mug with a kiss, and fussed a little herself, smoothing Crowley's quiff, now grown out quite a bit, and resting her hand, soft and warm, on her knee. Over her jeans, but still.

“I'll start,” Aziraphale said, looking so much happier and more comfortable already that Crowley's heart ached. What the fuck had Gabrielle _done_ to her?

(Not forced her to have sex. Please, please, God, you can do anything to me, seriously, anything at all if you promise she didn't suffer that.  _Please_ , Jesus, Mary, all you saints who martyred yourselves to avoid a man. Grant her that; grant her that safety.)

“Oooh, goody,” Crowley said, expecting, you know, a bullet vibe or two, maybe a dildo, maybe a bigger vibrator. Basic bitch that she was, Aziraphale probably had a Rabbit, but certainly just a small, cheerful collection. 

What she did  _not_ expect was for Aziraphale to reach under her bed, pull out a  _good_ sized box, open the lid, and dump out a frankly impressive mass of body-safe materials in a rainbow of colours and a definitely impressive variety of shapes and sizes.

Something had even started to buzz in the pile on the bed, and Aziraphale quickly sorted through it to find the little thing, turning it off. “Oh good grief, the on button on that is ridiculous.”

“Gwerngh,” Crowley said, pretty sure she looked a right tit. “Wow. I. Wow.”

“Yes,” Aziraphale said dryly. “I've done nothing but give you the impression that I'm virginal, up here in my little flat with a plastic vibrator I ordered out of an old catalogue.”

“Ngk,” Crowley said, remembering the day Aziraphale had tirelessly eaten her out until she screamed. “Um, okay, the first part _no_ , and I sincerely apologise for the second part. I mean it, Aziraphale. This is amazing.”

Aziraphale laughed, and started to sort through the pile. “Apology accepted, I know the vibes I give off.”

A  _very_ pregnant silence.

“Shut up,” Aziraphale said, even though Crowley hadn't said anything. She'd sure thought it loud enough, to be honest.

“Are those...restraints?” Crowley asked.

“Uh huh. They slip under the mattress, wrist and ankle,” Aziraphale explained. “See, they're nice and soft on the inside.” She smiled sweetly. “So it won't leave bruises when you tie me up.”

Crowley made a noise previously only recorded in corvids. Tying Aziraphale down  _and_ not hurting her even incidentally? It was like this was  _made_ for Crowley!

“That's lovely,” Crowley managed to say, and took a large drink of her tea. “Ooooh, a strap-on harness!”

Aziraphale smiled. “Uh huh. I've got a bunch of dildos that work with it – sorry, I don't like anything that looks too much like a cock really,” she explained, gesturing to the collection of pastel dildos. They were smooth and pretty, and Crowley reached for the biggest, eyebrows raising as she hefted it.

“That one fits a bullet vibe,” Aziraphale helpfully offered. “And the harness is adjustable – I _think_ we can get it small enough to fit you comfortably, darling. I love giving and receiving.”

“Fitting, since you are _gift_ ,” Crowley said, picturing Aziraphale sliding into her, beautiful and lush with this giant cock hard between her legs. Guh.

“Oh, goodness, you know me – don't spend money on much, and Anathema pays me a decent wage. One's got to fill those winter nights _somehow_ ,” Aziraphale said cheerfully.

“Out of curiosity, have you ever done much ass-play?” Crowley asked. Some of the dildos would work, but she didn't catch sight of a plug or anything.

Aziraphale shrugged. “It's okay, not my favourite. I've experimented with my fingers. You?”

“Um, yeah. Sometimes.” Crowley smiled, and blushed. “I like it when...you know I like it soft?”

“Yes, darling. I _adore_ that about you,” Aziraphale added, patting her knee gently. “I love giving it to you slow and gentle.”

Crowley blushed harder. “I just. If I'm having a day when I'm really really femme, and we're really really  _really_ romantic, and you're super soft and tender...I like it in the ass. There's something about the contrast.”

Aziraphale nodded, hazel eyes glowing in the long sunlight. “That sounds amazing,” she admitted. “I'd love to do that for you.” A softer smile. “I like treating you like a princess.”

“Same,” Crowley said swiftly. Aziraphale might like it hard someday, but she _always_ liked it soft and gentle. They both did. It was really, really nice.

They both smiled, and Crowley pulled her close for a little kiss, just a reminder that Aziraphale was an adored pillow princess angel. Crowley had a literal doctor's note framed and hanging by her desk testifying to this, and no healed wrist was going to change that. Just make it a little more joyful.

Aziraphale kissed her sweetly, and returned to the tour. “So those are the dildos, that's the restraints – oh, I like these too,” she said, showing Crowley some long velvet ribbons. “I don't always like the marks rope leaves, but we can wrap each other in this in the patterns, and it's so pretty.  
Crowley touched the soft things, thinking of cris-crossing them under and around Aziraphale's breasts, suckling her nipples while she tied a pattern across her soft tummy, and maybe, someday, being allowed to tie her arms together, and her thighs, and bring her tied-up girlfriend to orgasm again and again until she was pure pleasure.

“They're beautiful,” she said, and meant it. “And so soft. Perfect for you.”

“And you,” Aziraphale said firmly. “Right, welcome to vibrator city.”

Crowley giggled and reached out, rummaging through the pile. “You're not kidding, goodness. I didn't  _know_ they came in this many forms.”

Aziraphale laughed and turned on one that looked like a little fat leaf, and touched it to the tip of Crowley's nose. “They do! I love a good vibe. Is that nice?”

Crowley laughed. “What are you  _doing_ ?”

“That's how you can get a feel for the vibration strength in the store,” Aziraphale explained, and turned on another, which made Crowley jump when it was touched to her nose.

“Blimey,” she said. “Also, that's the cutest fucking thing I can imagine.” She picked out one that was long and thick and ridged, fiddling a moment with the buttons at the base, and then touched it to Aziraphale's nose as it pulsed out a little rhythm.

Aziraphale giggled. “Oh, I love that one! It's waterproof too, a very good time in the bath.”

“You are a revelation,” Crowley told her, and picked another one, of hard plastic, but a pretty blue colour. “You like the softer ones, don't you?”

“Uh huh. That's good though 'cause it's so small. And it was easy to hold even with my bad hand,” Aziraphale agreed, turning it on. It buzzed rather loudly, but Aziraphale giggled when Crowley touched it first to her own nose, then Aziraphale's.

“I _knew_ you'd have a rabbit,” Crowley said, picking another from the pile. Aziraphale's vibrators were mostly not terribly phallic, but this one...definitely was.

“Oh! That one's really fun,” Aziraphale confided. “Look.” She turned it on and the rabbit ears and the shaft both vibrated of course, but then she hit another button and it started to, well, _thrust_.

“What the actual fuck,” Crowley said, as Aziraphale put it down and it started to inch its way over her duvet, thrusting merrily all the while. It was like watching a naked, blind rat find its way.

They watched it quietly as it industriously inchwormed its way across the bed and fell to the floor, where presumably it would have made a break for the outside world had Aziraphale not scooped it up.

“Uh,” Crowley said.

“I know,” Aziraphale said.

“Don't take this the wrong way,” Crowley said.

“Never,” Aziraphale said, glowing.

“That's the least sexy thing I've ever seen in my life,” Crowley said, just as Aziraphale burst out with, “Of course you can borrow it!”

Another pause, and they both burst into laughter, Crowley holding out her arms and Aziraphale crawling through her pile of sex toys to cuddle up next to her, holding her and both of them laughing so hard they cried, and kissing each others' tears away.

“You are a _gift_ ,” Crowley gasped out. “The greatest gift in the whole fucking world.”

Aziraphale wheezed and shook her head, bright red, her mascara even running a little. “Crowley! You-- oh, I love you.”

Crowley smiled and kissed her, refusing to let her think for a moment that those words were anything less than wholly, perfectly welcome. “I love you too, Aziraphale. But I really do not want to borrow that vibrator.”

Aziraphale giggled, and she was teary-eyed and maybe not from laughter anymore, but she didn't say anything, just kissed Crowley again. “Your loss. It'll give you a fuck better than anything you could believe.”

Crowley giggled and wiped her eyes. “I'm willing to give that up. You keep it and give yourself a fuck that has you happy, dove.” She smiled, and kissed Aziraphale again. “I love you,” she repeated softly.

“I love you too.” Aziraphale wiggled with joy, and Crowley hugged her tight, tight, tight, no words for the moment.

They simply snuggled together a bit, Aziraphale tucked sweetly against Crowley's chest. She turned her head and kissed the top of her bosom through her t-shirt, and wriggled again. “Just out of curiosity, have you have had sex with a man?”

“With a man, or someone with a dick? Those are two different things,” Crowley said gently.

“Of course, forgive me. I'm curious about both, though,” Aziraphale said.

“Yes to both, then,” Crowley said. “I dated a transwoman for a bit about two years ago now. She didn't much fancy bottom surgery, although we called it her clit.”

Aziraphale smiled. “That's lovely.”

“She was. Is – we're still instagram friends and stuff.” Crowley rubbed Aziraphale's back. “And I slept with a guy when I was pretty young, still in college. He was all right. I'm very much a lesbian, though.”

Aziraphale nodded.

“What about you, love?” Crowley asked softly.

Aziraphale was quiet a long time. “Yes,” she said. “I'm sorry I never told you. I honestly forget sometimes but – I was engaged. When I was very young. To a man, I mean.”

“Oh, wow,” Crowley said. “Honey, you don't have to apologise for that, though. I don't...I _want_ to know about you, I want to know everything. But I don't have...some God-given right to it, you know? And there's no deadline.”

Aziraphale smiled. “Thank you. I need the reminder sometimes. He wasn't very nice, I think. Well, he was all right, I guess, but I didn't love him and he didn't love me. But...the way I was raised, it was...good, to be engaged so young. We weren't supposed to have sex, but we did.” She blushed. “I didn't know I was a lesbian then, but you'd think fantasizing about Kylie the whole time he was going away at me would have been a clue.”

Crowley giggled. “Oh, dove. You precious thing.”

Aziraphale laughed. “Oh, I was as thick as they come. Thank God we called it quits before we got married. That was sort of...my wake-up call. To begin to be me, rather than who my family wanted me to be.”

“I'm so proud of you,” Crowley said, and squeezed her tight. “You're the best you I can imagine.”

Aziraphale giggled. “That makes no sense.” She smiled. “His name was Michael. I don't know where he wound up. He liked being religious, though. Probably found a girl and got married early on.”

Crowley shrugged. “Whatever. I'd rather have you, precious.” A little kiss, and another. “You have a wonderful collection, by the way. I'm really glad you can give yourself so much pleasure. And I'd love to play with them  _with_ you, when you want to.”

Aziraphale smiled. “I'd like that too. But I'm monopolizing the whole afternoon! Show me your toys, love!”

Crowley gave an involuntary shiver, the way Aziraphale called her love so easily, the soft way it tripped off her tongue. “It's, uh. Not that impressive.”

Aziraphale shrugged. “So? I want to see what makes you happy.”

“Um,” Crowley said, and pulled her satchel into her lap. Aziraphale had moved over, sweeping her toys into an impressive pile while Crowley turned the satchel upside-down and let its remaining three items fall out.

There was a  _long_ silence.

“I've heard very good things about the Hitachi wand,” Aziraphale said politely.

“Oh, yeah! Uh, yeah, it's like the lazy person's vibrator,” Crowley explained, as her full-body blush really got underway. “Just turn it on, hold it over your vulva and like three minutes later have an orgasm.”

“How nice,” Aziraphale said, again politely.

“It is! Uh. Oh, the anal beads are actually a gag gift and I kept them on my keychain at Uni, so probably we shouldn't use them?” Crowley offered.

Aziraphale got a  _look_ on her face. She picked up the beads by the base and wrinkled her nose. “Crowley, these are not  _remotely_ body-safe, even before we accept the fact that they are literally teeming with germs. No.” She slipped it back into Crowley's satchel, and they stared at the last item.

“I can explain,” Crowley said.

“Give me some fun in this forsaken world,” Aziraphale said dryly. “Let me guess.” She paused. “I need you to know that I _am_ kink-shaming you, Crowley.”

“Yeah, that's fair,” Crowley said.

“Did you buy a Bad Dragon dildo as a gag gift?” Aziraphale asked sweetly.

“Er, yeah,” Crowley said.

“Did you then actually use it, since you got a size that is definitely...girthy...but absolutely reasonable for an average human vagina?” Aziraphale asked, still sweetly.

“Yump,” Crowley said, opting to go with pride.

“Did you discover that you _loved_ it, un-ironically?”

“One hundred percent,” Crowley admitted.

Aziraphale sighed. “Does is have a cum channel?”

“Er, no,” Crowley admitted. “That was more than I could swing at the time.”

“Pity,” Aziraphale said. “I was looking forward to giving you a pearl necklace. Well, can't win 'em all.”

“Erk,” Crowley said, and Aziraphale gave up and started laughing.

“Crowley, you are such a _dork_ ,” she said, falling back into Crowley's arms. 

“Well, _yeah_ ,” Crowley said, and picked up her unironically favourite sex toy, tapping Aziraphale's nose with the tip. “Look, you can wear it in the harness.”

“Honestly, I will,” Aziraphale admitted, giggling. “But only if I can dress up as a sea witch or something. This was _made_ for role-play.”

It was Crowley's turn to give a happy wriggle, and she smiled while Aziraphale's clever fingertips traced the many, many ridges and swirls and bits and bobs. “It really does feel nice.”

“I believe you, you silly thing.” Aziraphale kissed her, and snuggled back in her arms, safe and smiling, and Crowley was _so proud_. She was trusted and loved and everything she could ever ask for with Aziraphale.

She traced the edge of the brace, where Aziraphale's arm lay across Crowley's belly, and smiled at her. “I love you. I'm so glad your wrist is better.”

“Me too.” Aziraphale smiled at her. “And your knee is really okay, isn't it?”

“It really is. I promise.” Crowley touched her cheek, and kissed her soft and sweet. “You make me really happy.”

“Good. You make me _so_ happy.” Aziraphale took a deep breath. “Crowley, can I tell you something?”

“Of course, angel.”

“I, um. I talked about this with my therapist. But. I think. I mean, you probably figured this out, but Gabrielle.” Aziraphale dropped her eyes and curled in, but also pressed closer to Crowley. “She was abusive. To me.”

“I'm so sorry, love,” Crowley said softly. “I thought she might have been. I'm _so_ sorry.”

“Yeah, I'm sure everyone knows,” Aziraphale said, a little bitterly. “Except me. How stupid am I?”

“Not stupid at all,” Crowley said. “That's part of abuse. You don't always recognize it, until you're out. Then you figure out how incredibly brave and strong you are, to survive that.”

Aziraphale smiled, eyes still turned away. It wasn't much of a smile. “My therapist said that too. That's it's not stupid of me, I mean.”

“She's right,” Crowley said. “I really promise, love, my angel, she's right. You're brave and beautiful. Someone hurt you so, so, _so_ badly, but you realised it. You broke through. And you love me! That's a miracle. A real live miracle. I would never blame you if you didn't trust me.”

“I made a mistake. When I assumed you wouldn't want to have sex.”

“Well, yeah,” Crowley said. “But making mistakes is the human condition. I'd rather you ask first, instead of assuming, but I'm not upset. I'll always answer your questions, the way you always answer mine. That's us.”

Aziraphale smiled, and it lasted a tiny bit longer this time. “That makes sense. To ask you. I just...sorry. I think it's part of masking. I already guess so much about people, I don't know when to stop guessing. I  _am_ sorry.”

“Forgiven,” Crowley said instantly. “Can I ask you a question, love?”

“Yes, of course, always,” Aziraphale said.

“Did she ever hit you? Or harm you physically? I saw how she spoke to you...”

Aziraphale sighed. “Yes. You and the entire cafe. She did hit me. A few times. She was always very sorry.”

“Bitch,” Crowley said, cold and calm.

“No, an abuser,” Aziraphale said, just as cold and calm. “She played me very neatly. She did hit me, and she left bruises, once. But she's gone now.”

“Forever and ever,” Crowley said, tucking Aziraphale into her chest, holding her so close, letting her nuzzle and make a little space for herself and decide how she wanted to be held – close and tight, it turned out. “I will keep you safe from her. No matter what. If I'm around, you're safe. I _swear_ to you.”

“I know,” Aziraphale said, and sighed, heavy in Crowley's arms. 

“Can I ask you another thing?” Crowley asked softly.

“She never raped me,” Aziraphale said. “I promise you, love. Never that.”

Crowley let out a deep breath, felt all the air leave her body, and inhaled and it was like summer and Christmas and waking up late on a Sunday morning. “Thank you God,” she whispered, and pressed a kiss against Aziraphale's throat. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too. Were you really worried about that? Oh, sweetheart.” Aziraphale rocked them with the force of her hug. “No, no. She was a beast, but not that kind. I promise, lovey, never in my life.”

Crowley just breathed a little bit, holding tight.

“You?” Aziraphale asked, very softly.

“No. Close, a few times.”

“ _Baby_ ,” Aziraphale breathed, and hugged her so tight it hurt, just for a moment, before Crowley _felt_ her remember, and ease, and cradle Crowley close. “I'm so sorry. Glad too, I guess?”

Crowley smiled. “Yeah. That. S'okay. Long time ago.”

“Doesn't make it okay, actually, but I'll leave it,” Aziraphale advised, and pressed kisses to Crowley's hair, stroking the soft, fuzzy undercut. “Oh, it does feel good to tell you. About Gabrielle.”

“Good, baby. You tell me anything you want. Or nothing.” Crowley smiled and snuggled closer. “I am so, so proud of you. I love you.”

She heard the smile in Aziraphale's voice when she hugged back, and told Crowley she loved her.

They cuddled a lot longer, kissing and stroking each others' hair, tickling a little on purpose. Aziraphale teased Crowley about her Bad Dragon dildo some more, and Crowley teased her in turn about her ambulatory vibrator, and they laughed and kissed and touched each other very gently until Aziraphale's tummy rumbled, and it was time to make a proper supper together in the tiny kitchen, drinking wine and enjoying it and good food and each other. The awful confession never forgotten, but not allowed to take over their lives, either. Not given more space than it needed, and they giggled as they tumbled into bed together, Aziraphale quickly snuggled in Crowley's arms, Crowley running a fingertip up and down her bare wrist, marvelling over the miracle of human healing. Her girlfriend was so happy and sweet and...fast asleep, even before Crowley could turn off her bedside lamp.

Utterly bemused by her angel – poor thing, she must have been tired out – Crowley turned off the light and snuggled close, wiggling a little with joy herself, until she fell asleep just as hard and fast, and they dreamed together, smiling.

**Author's Note:**

> To expand on the cw:
> 
> \- Aziraphale gets her period and assumes this makes her undesirable to Crowley. 
> 
> \- Aziraphale tells Crowley that her relationship with Gabrielle was both physically and emotionally abusive. She's in therapy, and finds relief in telling Crowley, but it's hard and sad for both of them.
> 
> \- Crowley is briefly afraid that Aziraphale was sexually assaulted, but is comforted to learn that she wasn't. She admits to events close to assault in her own past, but that they didn't come to anything, and Aziraphale comforts and supports her.
> 
> By the end of the story they're both happy and easy with one another, and feel better after talking.


End file.
